States and Countries that allow gay marriage

If your asking where gay marriage is legal, I have the 411 on what and where for your reference.

In the United States

Massacheusettes: The law to allow gay marriage was adopted in 2004. Currently, you must be a resident to be married there.

California: As of June 16, 2008 Gay and lesbian couples can legally be married.

Canada
All of Canada and Provinces adopted gay marriage as constitutional in June 2005.

Spain
As of June 2005 Spain also adopted the legalization of Gay marriage.

Belgium
The second country in the world to allow gay marriage was Belgium in 2003.

Netherlands
Holland A.K.A. The Netherlands was the very first country to legalize gay marriage as of 2001.

South Africa
Gay marriage became legal in November 2006.

There are several states and countries that also allow civil unions and or domestic partnerships. civil unions and or domestic partnerships are similar to marriage where couple have legal recognition, but at the cost of with a few less legal rights. Here is a short list of where civil unions/domestic partnerships are legal.

U.S.
Vermont, Connecticut, Maine, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Hawaii, Washington State, and Oregon.

In Europe
United Kingdom, Germany, France, Portugal, Denmark, Sweden, Norway, Iceland, Finland, and Switzerland; all allow civil unions or domestic partnerships.


New Zealand and Israel have also adopted the civil union policy in 2004.

Gay and Marriage Part II

I was recently asked about the process of getting married, not only as a lesbian marring her partner but, also about getting married in another country (where gay marriage is legal).

Some people asked us why we got married if it is not recognized in our own country.
It is a sad statement. It feels bad to know that as 2 consenting, intelligent adults, our marriage is not recognized because of the sex of the person we love.

Some say marriage is defined by a man and a woman. The way I see is is; Our country is divided by the decision that the legality of marriage is based on nothing more than a penis and a vagina!!

The answer to that question is simple; We made the decision mostly because we wanted to create a stronger bond between us.

In case you have not read my profile, I am an American Citizen who was married in Ontario, Canada a few years back.

My partner and I made the decision to get married, although at the time it was not recognized in the United States except for in Massachusetts. We thought, ok lets take a drive and get married. However, we soon learned that in order to be legally married in Massachusetts, we had to become residents of the state first. This would mean we would have to relocate, which we were not willing to do.

Since we lived much closer to Ontario Canada, and we did not have to be a resident, or even Canadian to be wedded, we decided it was the best option for us.

This process was actually pretty simple. We first visited the local city website http://www.niagarafalls.ca/ to see how to apply for a marriage license. We then went down to city hall together in Ontario (Niagara Falls). We showed our I.D., signed for the license, and were told the license would arrive in the mail. A week or two later, there it was as promised sitting in the mailbox.

The only thing left to do was find a reverend, or someone to marry us, and show up.
Okay, okay, its not that easy.... Getting married in general is just as stressful and hectic as any straight couple getting married.

We first checked out Justice of the peace. However, it was first come, first serve at city hall. Depending on how many people show up to be married that day, you'd arrive not knowing if you are going to be married.

Then we searched for gay reverend, and gay weddings in Ontario. In instant result came up. We began to call. Some reverends were booked, one did not honor or hold gay weddings. By the fifth phone call we found our reverend who was happy to marry us at a decent price.

We of course had to prepare for the wedding. I wont go into monotonous detail. I'll just say if any of you have been married, or stood up in a wedding, then you know all the little dainty details of what need to be done.

Thats it!!! We got married, in 2005, and have been happily married ever since.

Gay and Marriage

One of the questions I am frequently asked by straight couples is: " is being in a gay marriage any different than being in a straight marriage?" and "Do one of you take on the 'masculine roll'?". It is always entertaining to have such interest and wonder of same sex culture.

To be honest, being in a gay marriage is really not different than being in a straight marriage, especially when it comes to house duties.

Gay or straight, both couples take on, and in most cases share daily house duties.
Like a straight marriage, in a gay marriage one person may take on one specific roll above another. For instance, one may cut the lawn, take out the trash, and do the general home repairs; while the other will attend to the laundry, cooking, and cleaning more often.
This however, does not mean that in the gay relationship one is more masculine/ feminine than the other. This is not to say that stereo-types do not exist. They do.

In my experience, I have found that many gay couples, seem to share the tasks more equally than many straight couples. As a not so stereotypical feminine gay woman who happens to be married, I can tell you that both my partner and I take turns sharing our household duties.

My partner and I hate house work; aka the evil necessity of a pretty place. Believe me when I say if we could hire a maid, we would. We try to be a bit creative when it comes to doing work and often place friendly bets during some of our many card games we play. Instead of money, we wager house duties. It makes mundane house tasks a bit more bearable; not to mention really fun when you bet on and win who takes the trash out for the next week.

As far as gender rolls go, I think it's pretty safe to say that neither one of us takes on a specific roll as a man and woman would. We share and share alike.

Aside from tasks, the toughest part about being in a gay marriage is the lack support from our own government. ( I am pretty sure I am not the only one out there who is gay and married). I am also so disgusted at the absolute ignorance our society at this day and age. People are ignorant if they do not understand. That is why I am here to share all of my experiences so others can learn that we are people too, doing the same thing as straight families...every single day.